the “h” word

I knew the day was coming. It actually came a while back in the spring. Jackson learned the word “hate” at school and it was just a matter of time before he would think he knew how to use it when he got mad…at me. Over the summer tensions were at all all time high. For Jackson in particular. He was so ready to just be a kid and not be pulled and prodded along with every packed suitcase, daddy across the country and no sign of his earthly belongings. I knew it was coming but I wasn’t prepared for how sad it made me feel. Clearly I knew Jackson loved me and didn’t mean it but oh my was he in big trouble! His punishment from Seth was that he would have to sit down at the table and write “Jackson loves mommy”. Most dramatic hour ever.   Jackson’s writing was so crazy (because he was steaming and smoke was coming out his ears) and ginormous that he filled up the numbers without having to write in every line but he didn’t know the difference. He just knew he didn’t want to do that again. It wasn’t the last time he said it, it has come again since and I am afraid will come for years to come. Parenting is tough on many levels.  We get to be the guinea pigs for our children’s pilot personalities, quirks and charms.  We get the unedited version that needs to be refined. Often my boys look like mirrors to my own rough edges. Yikes.

Jackson’s behavior has been on the up and up and I can already see maturity in him since school started.  Owen has know stepped in to fill the space while Jackson is away and is attempting to pull out all of the 2 year old stops. He is ever so slowly realizing that I have seen this before and  the reactions just aren’t as satisfying the second time around.

So I mentioned that Seth was sending me out to write a couple of nights ago. it didn’t happen that night but last night I got out and it was such a nice breather to miss bed time and be out of the house. I ordered a decaf salted caramel mocha and it was so yummy! I rarely order something new because I am scared I won’t like it! I highly recommend it!  And I highly recommend stepping out during bedtime sometime…if you are able of course.  It’s good to gain some perspective on my job as a mom and that often requires stepping away for a bit!  Thanks, Seth!


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