Well, it’s that time again. It feels like just yesterday it was May and I was saying that we had the summer to enjoy before the bid list came out. It’s out. It came out yesterday.  We are still enjoying summer but August is definitely here and for this it marks another season of big decisions.Yesterday happened to be Swiss National Day so as Seth opened the list and we began to browse we heard major firework action outside of our house, which only added some edge to the already high blood pressure!

I have two emotions during bidding time that basically fight each other the entire time.  I feel excitement about all of the possibilities and I feel completely overwhelmed to make the best decision for our family…every single family member. The task is daunting. I know some couples whose spouse  does the bidding and lets them know where they will be headed. For us it is a family decision. Each post has their own set time to start positions, Seth has different trainings to complete and we have family factors like Jackson’s school and my sanity! Ha!

I feel a bit like our family is a muscle that has been overstretched. (this image is particularly powerful after doing Jillian Michael’s shred and feeling sore while sitting to type) Initially our experiences really strengthened us and stretched us in a healthy way beyond our comfort zones but I think we may be coming on a time where we need to give this muscle some rest and be closer to home for a season.  Anything could happen, we are still looking into some overseas possibilities that might be beneficial long term. The pro and con list just seems to complicate things because we can see both sides. But, we are really digging deep and looking at the big pictures.

Kuddos to all of you Foreign Service wives out there that have done this tour after tour! And to those that have survived their first pack out and big move.  I recently read a blog of a girl who described her most stressful month of her nearly 10 yr marriage. Ladies, her most stressful month summed up a day as a foreign service wife planning an international move, packing out, transitioning kids and settling in for the umpteenth time.  I am not saying it wasn’t stressful for the blogger,  I am saying we need to give ourselves a hand for tackling the stresses that some days have started to seem routine!

some Alpine dandelions to ease the blow of bidding!

Well, I have to admit that this has been a tough weekend.  As we finished up our visit with my parents last week we learned that my grandfather was quite sick and would be moving to hospice. We knew this day was coming but we were not sure when. My dad and his siblings are currently in Ft. Myers with my grandparents spending time together and saying goodbye to their father.

I have been sharing memories of my grandfather all weekend with Seth. It’s tough being far away but thinking about the good memories helps.

Ironically, as we are in the process of saying goodbye to Grandpa my fondest memories of him are when we would say goodbye after our visits. He had a tradition of giving each grandchild a dollar. Our very own. Not to share with our sibling. It was for us. I remember feeling so special and so rich as a kid when he would put the green paper roll in my hand. I could hardly wait to spend it.   I remember being around 10 or so when I had the thought that if I had just been smart enough to not spend the dollars from him that I could really be loaded.  The other thing he would do was stand out by the curb when we would leave and when we rolled our window down to wave he would say “last tag” and tag us. Over the years everyone worked hard to get in the “last tag”.  Once we caught on I think we would spend the hour before leaving teasing him with tags and getting the same going.

The last time I saw my grandfather he didn’t recognize me. He has had Alzhiemer’s for some years now. I can’t remember exactly when he got diagnosed but I do remember that he started having trouble just before my wedding in 2005. I am so thankful he was able to be part of our ceremony. The last time I saw my grandfather in person was a few days after Owen was born when we had a big family get together at our home in Vienna. Even at that time I remember he was frail and unsure but I also remember how he lit up when Jackson sang “Jingle Bells” and when he held Owen. He didn’t say much that night but he smiled and his eyes were bright.

I called my dad this morning to see how the night had gone. I could sense from my dad that he wished his father would no longer have to be in pain. I asked my dad if he had given Grandpa a rolled up dollar and a “last tag”.

My grandfather touched the lives of many as a minister and superintendent to church pastors but to me he is my grandfather. Grandpa, we sure are going to miss you!   Thank you for loving us!