I received the neatest email yesterday. I was in touch recently with a long time family friend because I had had a dream about her daughter and thought it was so random I should tell her.  I expected a reply about the dream, which I got, but most of her message was telling me how she has prayed for me throughout my life and how she continues to think about us. She described knowing me as a child and watching me grow up. She is someone that knew me as my personality was developing, shared her kids as playmates with me and was and is a dear friend to my mom.

I have expressed here in the blog before how one of the downsides of our lifestyle is the struggle of really knowing people or them knowing us.  Yes, we are busy and we are social and we have gotten to know people wherever we have lived. But in terms of lifelong, you know me well enough to call on a bad day kind of friends, they are far more rare.  I feel like it is so important for our kids to have people that really know them as much as it is for Seth and I. People that see their personalities forming, quirks and all and take joy in them.  My blog is my effort to help friends and family stay connected so that in some small way they might share life with us and feel like they somehow know us even though we live far away.  Catch me on a bad day and I would for sure let tears fall feeling my efforts don’t quite cut it. Catch me on another bad day and I would cry equally about feeling far from my nieces and nephews and friends kids, wishing I could be more a part of their daily lives, hearing about the little things and the big accomplishments. I don’t blog because I have lots of free time or because my kids are well-behaved enough to entertain themselves happily so I can have a hobby. In fact at this moment Owen is screaming next to me, drooling on my leg because his brother just yelled at him to get away from his masterpiece building, yada, yada.  It doesn’t slow down around here yet I feel like this is an effort I want to invest in for the sake of relationship.

As I went through my day yesterday I was thinking about friends we have had along the way in Dallas, DC, Bogota and now Bern.  Each step of the way we have had friends and family that have filled this role.  It’s always a risk to open up and allow people to be close, to share my kids (even on days when they embarrass me to death with tantrums and such), and to do it all knowing we will only be in close proximity for a short amount of time.  As we continue on this FS path I will admit that although in some ways it becomes easier to meet people and make plans the vulnerability and investment part becomes harder.  As we are already into this final year in Bern I am trying to be focused on knowing and being known despite the distance and time line.  And I will cherish that sweet message from a friend who was able to remind me where I came from and looks on to where we are headed.

Many of you know that I headed home a few weeks ago for my grandfather’s memorial service. I feel weird saying it was a wonderful time because it was for a sad occasion, but it was it was celebratory of my grandfather’s life and it was a sweet time of visiting with relatives that I see far too rarely. We shared meals, long talks, walks, laughter and tears. We all flew in for the weekend coming from our own stresses and realities but for those few days we were able to reconnect and share each others burdens. Here are some photos from the time.

my brothers

my aunts, I wish I lived close enough for weekly coffee dates with them! I admire them both so much.

the whole family….missing our cousin Ethan and spouses and children!

Uncle Fred and my mom doing morning yoga by the bay…one of those laughable moments from the weekend.

For the few days before the Memorial I spent some time with my “sisterfriends”…we have been friends since 7th grade so they are long time friends but really more like my sisters. Leigh flew in from Texas and surprised me and we stayed at Bonnie’s place in Tampa.  We spent our days together shopping, eating out, getting pedicures and relaxing at the beach. Seth told me to take the days and to have an early 30th birthday celebration since I wouldn’t be able to celebrate with these girls in January. Bonnie was a wonderful hostess and it was so nice to be able to see her home and have her take us around Tampa.

One night we spent a night on Anna Maria Island. I got up early the next morning to walk on the beach and find some shells. I lucked out and found a seahorse and a sand dollar.

It was so tough to leave Seth and the boys but it was so special to have some time with friends and family. I am so thankful Seth not only held down the fort but encouraged me to go!